AltWeeklies Wire » Culture » Advice

Miss Adventure - Jack & Jill Circle Jerk

By Miss Adventure
Boston Phoenix | November 17, 2005
Dear Miss Adventure;

Here’s the deal. I want to have sex in front of other people. It’s always been a fantasy of mine and I’m ready to give it a try. I want my wife to join me but we’re both nervous about STDs. Can you help?

-Tim

Dear Tim;

You naughty little boy! How splendid that you wish to share your pleasure sessions with another set of eyes. For you, dear Tim, I suggest an ultimate fantasy with basically no fluid swapping involved. It’s sexy, sultry, and if you do it correctly, you won’t go home with itchy pants or vile viruses. Tim, may I introduce you to the Jack and Jill Circle Jerk!

SEE JACK. SEE JILL

Like any good party planner, you’ll need invitations. Don’t worry about looking like a pervert; people have sex toy parties and swing parties often. Think of it as a get-together with clothing as an option. Make up some invitations that creatively and indirectly describe how your living room will be turned into masturbation station. Your friends will appreciate your tongue-in-cheek humor, just make certain to scratch your priest off the “to invite” list.

SEE FRAN FLICK

When the night of the party arrives, make certain that your living room or rec room is a comfortable and chill environment for what is about to take place. Get throw pillows, cushions, comfy blankets, and lounge furniture for your many guests. Dim the lighting and put on some easy music which will encourage the sexual love juices to flow. Mix some yummy alcoholic beverages and provide sweet snacks for nibbling purposes.

SEE JOHN JERK

One of the most important parts of the evening will be the lubrication. As a host of the masturbation party, you should provide your guests with a vast variety of lube. Go the extra mile and prepare a goodie bag filled with lube, feathers for tickling, and maybe some cock rings for added flair. Your attendees will be pleased when their hands go between their knees.

SEE RON RUB

The purpose of this party will be to rub-a-dub your respective chubs in front of others. With your friends sitting around, pleasuring themselves, watching some dirty videos, and basically kicking back and letting it all hang out, you will be turned on to no end. And you’ll get closer than you ever expected! Just keep the tissues on hand and remind your guests that you don’t mind if they leave a coat or purse behind, but DNA is another issue. Cum on the carpet means no more invites for that Jack or Jill!

Hope this helps!

Lustfully Yours,

Miss Adventure
Tags: advice columns

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