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Miss Adventure - How to Seduce Five Types of Women

By Miss Adventure
Boston Phoenix | November 17, 2005
How to Seduce Five Types of Women

From the erotic files of Miss Adventure comes this highly sensitive information. Miss Adventure will now reveal the secrets to seducing five different categories of women. Leaders of nations have fought for this privilege. Only readers of the Best of XXX Boston can have it! Read on and discover how to make these five types of lovely ladies wet for your jock.

THE PRUDE

How to spot her: She wears turtlenecks in the summer and sports hair ala Hillary Clinton. She’ll only give you the time of day if you associate yourself with a non-profit charity.

What she’s really like: The Prude enjoys “mommy” games. She’ll suckle you, then unbuckle you, and give you the sweetest spanking of your life.

How to make her hot: She needs to be in power. Ask her for candidate recommendations over a latte. Tell her you need to be led like a little boy. Watch that turtleneck hit the floor.

THE HOT MOM

How to spot her: She wears Daisy Dukes and ripped tees to the grocery store. She’s never without lipstick and enjoys saying, “My husband is away on business so often, it’s like we’re not even married.”

What she’s really like: Hot Mom enjoys role playing and fantasy sex. If you own a costume shoppe, you’ll get in her velvet glove for sure.

How to make her hot: She needs surreptitious seduction. Leave notes on her care, random roses where only she’ll find them. Say you’re a landscaper and watch her beg you to trim her hedges and seed her lawn

THE NEIGHBORHOOD SLUT

How to spot her: She’s the girl in the evening dress at 8AM, doing the walk of shame back to her pad.

What she’s really like: Slut is a freak. She’s in it for the sex, not for the emotions and she’s seen it all.

How to make her hot: You need to pull out the entertainment. Purchase porn, grab your restraints, and dust off the leather face mask. You’re in for a long night.

THE (LEGAL) SCHOOLGIRL

How to spot her: She wears skirts that barely cover her ass, favors pigtails, and is always sucking on something to quell her oral fixation.

What she’s really like: Schoolgirl is a dirty talker who favors sex in public places.

How to make her hot: Offer her candy and puppies and then persuade this above-eighteen-year-old to go into your van. Head to the movies and cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn tub.

THE OFFICE BITCH

How to spot her: She wears this season’s most expensive suits. She’s the mean woman who yells at the baristas for screwing up her coffee.

What she’s really like: She is waiting to be dominated. She needs a big, strong, dominating man to tell her she’s been a bad girl and need to be punished. Paddles are optional.

How to make her hot: Tell her no. Refuse her request, don’t back down when she insults you. Then calmly tell her that she is going to be your subbie slave and there’s nothing she can do about it. Watch her softer side unfold.
Tags: advice columns

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The Boston Phoenix was founded in 1966 as an arts and entertainment newspaper for the 18-40 year old market. Today, with editions in Rhode Island and Portland, Maine, the Phoenix has a distribution of 220,000 and more than 600,000 readers...
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