AltWeeklies Wire
Ask a Mexican: Counting Illegal Immigrantsnew
"I hear all the time that 12 million illegal immigrants live in the United States. Is that true? Who counted them? How did they do it? Is there a turnstile at the border tallying up illegals and stamping their hands with neon cartoon characters so they can go back and visit their familias?"
Inauguration at the Disconew
Momma Roscoe: "I thought I'd never see this day. And you know what I mean. This old lady hasn't been this excited since John F. Kennedy was elected president in 1961."
Jackson Free Press |
Sue Doh Nem |
12-01-2008 |
Comedy
Back to Myselfnew
Ken said, "It's time for me to change from a fictitious person to just being myself -- again."
Jackson Free Press |
Sue Doh Nem |
11-25-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor & satire
Ask a Mexican: Kicking Aztlannew
"In a column some time ago, you mentioned the Aztec prophecy claiming that 'their descendants would reclaim ancestral lands in the Southwest U.S., and guess what?' I'd appreciate it if you shed a little light on this statement."
Ask a Mexican: Special Canadian Editionnew
The Great Brown South meets the Great White North.
Blisternew
I'm having a Mad Men moment of controlled tempers seething hazily through the keeping-up of appearances, just standing here in my Dream Kitchen with a gimlet and one momentous tear.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
11-06-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
The sky is falling, numbers are crunching, cancer is growing, mouths are lying, campaigns are tanking, banks are crumbling, stockbrokers are snorting, homes are foreclosing and I am dying.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-07-2008 |
Comedy
Hop On the Busnew
The Ghetto Science Department of Transportation has designated H.O.V. (High Occupancy Vehicle) lanes for the church buses.
Jackson Free Press |
Sue Doh Nem |
09-18-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor & satire
Ask a Mexican: More Shameless Self-Promotion (Buy Gustavo's New Book!)new
In honor of and to shamelessly promote my muy caliente libro (which deals with America's Gomorrah, the Reconquista and John Wayne!), I'm answering historical questions this week.
A Terrorist's Worst Enemies: Morissette, Oberst, and Mick Fleetwoodnew
If the CIA's going to break the bad guys, they're going to have to turn up the pain.
Seattle Weekly |
Thomas Francis and Mike Seely |
09-15-2008 |
Music
The Orlando Police Beatnew
Aug. 29; 1:01 p.m.: A 42-year-old battered an Old Navy rent-a-cop who busted him shoplifting. Officer Baker concludes his report with the following bit of redundancy: "The arrestee was arrested."
Orlando Weekly |
Jeffrey C. Billman |
09-12-2008 |
Commentary
What's Up With All the Weird Names?new
What's up with all the weird-ass names — OK, "nontraditional" names — people are giving their kids these days? We no longer even blink when we're introduced to toddlers, teens or 20-somethings named Kaelyne, Mackenzie, or Fontina, despite the cheesy connotations.
Creative Loafing (Charlotte) |
John Grooms |
09-11-2008 |
Comedy
Moodswing: Cathedral Ceilingnew
There's always more than one way to let the light in.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta) |
Hollis Gillespie |
09-10-2008 |
Comedy
Ask a Mexican: Legal Mexicans Who Can Become American Citizens But Don'tnew
"What would you calculate to be the percentage of illegal Mexicans in the United States who actually want the whole enchilada of American goodness, with all its obligations, rights and privileges, when those privileges seem to be reduced nowadays to taking it in the ass from the American government in the name of some shady interest God-knows-where?"
What Every Boston Freshman Should Knownew
Freshmen, check your egos at the state line and listen up — things are not always as advertised.
Boston Phoenix |
Clif Garboden |
09-04-2008 |
Comedy
