AltWeeklies Wire
Steven Wells Is Still Dishing It Out. And He Can Still Take It. Can You?new
No wonder American music journalism sucks. We've raised a generation of mewling, puking brittle-boned pony hugging, mediocrity-loving music journalist milksops who don't wanna rip both rock and the English language a new asshole.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
04-13-2009 |
Music
Tags: commentary, music criticism
Many Musicians Died This Year, but Not Nearly Enoughnew

The Western male now lives on average to about 78. Think about that. And then think of Phil Collins, Elvis Costello and Chris Martin -- and weep.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
01-05-2009 |
Music
Philly's UFOlogists Tell Us Why They Believenew
UFO sightings in the Philadelphia metro area are up by more than 700 percent this year. Boomerang-shaped UFOs, rhomboids, fireballs, UFOs that spew a silvery metallic substance that changes the chemical makeup of privet bushes and poisons robins -- you name it, we saw it.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
12-15-2008 |
Culture
Election '08: Welcome Back, Americanew

This election was America's absolute last chance not to be a dick. And you took it. Electing Obama was such an astoundingly cool thing to do that it wiped out -- at least temporarily -- all the incompetent, arrogant, bloody horror of the Bush years. You are forgiven.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
11-10-2008 |
Commentary
US Politics: Way Too Important to be Left to Americansnew

If we really believed in democracy, we would extend the right to vote in the US elections to every human being on the planet who is directly affected by the result. Which -- by the last count -- was all 6 billion of us.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
10-07-2008 |
Commentary
Marc Brodzik on His Launch of Scrapple.TVnew

Scrapple.TV, an internet TV station, exists at the moment is a virtual pirate TV commune featuring every badass art bastard and stared-at-in-the-street crazy Philly street culture freak around.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
06-16-2008 |
Tech
The Sons Also Risenew
Philly's most passionate sports fans are nuts about a team that doesn’t yet exist.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
03-17-2008 |
Sports
Tags: sports & fitness
Is Western Culture Being Drowned By a Jism Tsunami?new
Porn isn't just the elephant in the room -- it's the naked elephant going "uh uh uh" as it frantically masturbates into the face of a bored lady elephant.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
02-19-2008 |
Commentary
In GOP We Trustnew
Every time you vote Democrat, a baby Jesus dies.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
01-28-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor & satire
The Rise of Adolf Knitlernew
The crochet-fascists are back.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
01-02-2008 |
Art
Tags: visual arts
Big Mouth Strikes Againnew
Who knew Morrissey was an idiot?
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
12-17-2007 |
Profiles & Interviews
Armed Philadelphia Unloadsnew

Everyone knows lots of city residents are armed -- but not all of them are criminals.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
08-06-2007 |
Civil Liberties
Tags: civil liberties
3600 Dead: Is Your Hummer Worth It?new
Speedophiles and cyclists are the enemies of humanity.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
07-16-2007 |
Transportation
Tags: transportation
Viva la Revolution!new
You can't be a conservative and a patriot.
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
07-02-2007 |
Comedy
Tags: humor & satire
McCartney Should be Knife-fighting Sting Naked in Starbucksnew
I know what you're thinking: Why the hell is the most right-on journalist in the world beveraging at Starbucks?
Philadelphia Weekly |
Steven Wells |
06-19-2007 |
Commentary