AltWeeklies Wire

Happytown: U.S. Rep. Ric Keller Totally Ripped Us Offnew

The thing about publishing a weekly newspaper is that, when it comes to elections, you’re inevitably behind the curve.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes and Deanna Morey  |  11-06-2008  |  Commentary

The Orlando Council Watchnew

Item: The city approves the purchase of driver feedback signs from Emergency Vehicle Supply. Translation: The city is spending $51,025 (plus $4,800 maintenance) on those pixelated stanchions that politely remind you of your current speed and that you're probably driving a bit too fast for a thoroughfare populated by paraplegic blind people and Ritalin children.
Orlando Weekly  |  Billy Manes  |  11-06-2008  |  Commentary

Happytown's Endorsementsnew

You may not have heard, but there's an election coming up Nov. 4. Suddenly you're asking yourself, "Who and what would my dear friends at Happytown vote for?" Wonder no longer. It's endorsement time.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes, Deanna Morey and Bob Whitby  |  10-30-2008  |  Commentary

Ewwww, Scary!new

Our annual wearable tribute to the truly horrifying, just in time for Halloween. Instructions: Cut along the dotted lines, open eye and mouth holes, immediately suspend all trick-or-treating and return to Washington.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes, Deanna Morey and Bob Whitby  |  10-30-2008  |  Commentary

Orlando City Council Watchnew

This looked like it could get good. Overhead, the flat-screen beamed images of a sweaty-backed Mayor Buddy Dyer being tackled by a gaggle of kids from the Parramore Kidz Zone, while on the council floor embattled state Sen. Gary Siplin made the rounds in a light fedora and pinstripes. Was it Personal Caricature Day? No.
Orlando Weekly  |  Billy Manes  |  10-23-2008  |  Commentary

Happytown: The Throngs Adore Sen. Hopey in Floridanew

Presidents Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were in fine form, rattling off candy-coated bits of rhetoric effortlessly while standing next to each other in pure Dream Ticket formation.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes and Adriana Ruiz  |  10-23-2008  |  Commentary

The Orlando Police Beatnew

Oct. 3, 7:10 a.m.: Orlando criminals have evolved since our last edition, wherein I chronicled the bungled efforts of some dunderhead who couldn't figure out how to smash a glass window.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman  |  10-17-2008  |  Commentary

Happytown: The Come Out With Pride 2008 Packetnew

As much as we love broad strokes and low-hanging fruit around here -- along with expletives in lieu of real words -- even we weren't sure what to make of the thick packet we were issued by Come Out With Pride 2008 in advance of this past weekend's queer festivities.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes and Bob Whitby  |  10-17-2008  |  Commentary

Happytown: Mayor Buddy Dyer and Same-Sex Partnersnew

Last week, Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer announced that the city will henceforth offer same-sex partners the benefits it awards to married couples (though not to straight unmarried couples, because they're living in sin). And it only took our "progressive" mayor and his Democrat-dominated city council five years to do it.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes, Deanna Morey and Adriana Ruiz  |  10-17-2008  |  Commentary

The Orlando Police Beatnew

Sept. 26, 8:16 a.m.: Some jackass snatched a woman's purse while she was at a bus stop.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman  |  10-17-2008  |  Commentary

Orlando City Council Watchnew

District 1 commissioner Phil Diamond was out with the flu, which meant there would be no reassuring winks, no thoughtful contention and a generally arrhythmic pacing to this week's civic confab.
Orlando Weekly  |  Billy Manes  |  10-15-2008  |  Commentary

Happytown: Judge Smacks Down Orlando's Ban on Feeding People in Parksnew

On Sept. 26, Judge Gregory Presnell struck down the city's ban on feedings in public parks. He ruled that the feedings, organized by Orlando Food Not Bombs, were political speech protected by the First Amendment.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes and Deanna Morey  |  10-07-2008  |  Commentary

Happytownnew

Want to send your kid to school with a healthy salad you picked up from a deli? Maybe a brownie from your neighbor's bake sale? Too bad, hippie. Your "food" has no place in the public schools.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes, Justin Strout and Bob Whitby  |  10-01-2008  |  Commentary

Happytown: Palin, Same-Sex Marriage, and Morenew

The latest Quinnipiac University poll of Florida voters indicates that only 55 percent of the 1,427 voters questioned support the superfluous Amendment 2, the so-called marriage amendment.
Orlando Weekly  |  Jeffrey C. Billman, Billy Manes and Deanna Morey  |  09-18-2008  |  Commentary

In Orlando, Taxes Are Going Up While City Services Are Being Cutnew

Orlando's city government responded to its current budget crisis -- a $31.4 million deficit -- the way most cities do: They blamed everyone and everything else for their fiscal problems.
Orlando Weekly  |  Billy Manes  |  09-18-2008  |  Commentary

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