AltWeeklies Wire
Know Your Decade: Take Our Quiz and Kiss the '00s Goodbyenew

Think you're a genius at remembering everything that happened over the last 10 years? Take this quiz of pop culture and news from the last decade to see how much you really know.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey, Patrick Alan Coleman and Mercury staff |
12-31-2009 |
Commentary
'Jennifer's Body': Your Average Sensitive Teen Slasher Picnew
While screenwriter Diablo Cody has been accused of being overly precious, here her cleverly worded script is streamlined to fit into the slash 'n' sex genre of horror. While the quips come fast, funny, and furious, it never slows down the plot or Kusama's thoughtful direction, which often reveals the underlying truths behind Cody's deceptively glib teen-speak.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
09-18-2009 |
Reviews
'The Hills': Summer's Eve for the Brain!new
That's right, I admit it. I watch The Hills -- but only for its medicinal purposes! See, whenever I watch an episode, my brain activity slows down to the point where it almost flatlines.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
10-24-2008 |
TV
Hulk Lack Emotional Resonance!new

More of a continuation than a remake of Ang Lee's critically mixed Hulk (2003), The Incredible Hulk seems intent on repairing the damage inflicted by its predecessor.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
06-13-2008 |
Reviews
Striking Outnew
Are you happy the writers' strike is finally over? Well, I most certainly am ... NOT!! When networks get desperate, some really funny, dumbass ideas get to shine.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
02-21-2008 |
TV
I Love Television: The State of the Robotic Unionnew
My fellow Americans: We have a serious and potentially life-threatening problem facing our nation this week. Shockingly, the president of the United States has scheduled his State of the Union address to directly conflict with not one, but TWO of my fave new shows!
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
01-24-2008 |
Movies
Up On Santa's Lapnew
I visited four Santas in the Portland area, and "test drove" every single lap. And while it's certainly not a competition, there can only be one "BEST SANTA IN ALL OF PORTLAND" -- so ... uh ... yeah, I guess it is a competition. MAY THE BEST LAP WIN!
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
12-20-2007 |
Culture
Southland is a Non-Funny Laff Riotnew
If there was ever a director in dire need of a studio muzzle (as well as arm and leg shackles), it's Richard Kelly.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
11-15-2007 |
Reviews
Tags: Richard Kelly, Southland Tales
Strike?! What's a TV Columnist to Do?new
I'm forming a NEW union called the TV Critic and Watchers Guild (TCWG), and we're going to start making a few demands of our own!
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
11-15-2007 |
Movies
Making Portland's Fake Dirty Bomb Attack Even Fakier!new
While there will undoubtedly be plenty of over-emotive community theater actors on hand, moaning about their fake radioactive burns ... that's exactly what our local officials are expecting. Therefore it's up to you to diverge from the script and give our high-caliber public servants the test they deserve. Here are a few suggestions.
The Portland Mercury |
Wm. Steven Humphrey |
10-11-2007 |
Comedy
Tags: humor & satire