Betty & Veronica

Fashion, football, coeds and hostages.

TV

Ugly Betty

Thursday, Sept. 28 (ABC)

Series Debut: Great show, lousy title. Magazine-obsessed Betty Suarez (America Ferrera) lands a dream job at an upscale Manhattan glossy-unfortunately, it's a fashion magazine, and Queens girl Betty dresses like a "Don't" and weighs more than 100 pounds, hence "ugly." How did she get the gig? The publisher figured his new editor (and full-time man 'ho) son would actually get some work done instead of nailing his assistant. Once you get past the initial humiliations and tacked-on conspiracy subplot, Ugly Betty is sweet and funny without being obnoxious about it-and look for producer Salma Hayek camping it up on the telenovas playing in the background.

Smallville, Supernatural

Thursday, Sept. 28 (The CW)

Season Premieres: Will Clark escape the Phantom Zone and save the planet from Zod? Will Sam and Dean survive a trip to Satan's SuperCuts? Even more suspenseful … have you located The CW yet?

Saturday Night Live

Saturday, Sept. 30 (NBC)

Season Premiere: Dane Cook hosts, The Killers play, and they finally fired Horatio Sanz. Who's going to fuck up the sketches now? All eyes are on you, Andy Samberg.

Everybody Hates Chris, All of Us, Girlfriends, The Game

Sunday, Oct. 1 (The CW)

Season Premieres/Series Debut: This is what's left of the dead UPN's "urban block"-did The CW save the best series? Everybody Hates Chris and Girlfriends are still entertaining, and All of Us and The Game still suck-so, they at least held onto the most consistent shows. Keep looking for that CW.

Friday Night Lights

Tuesday, Oct. 3 (NBC)

Series Debut: Yet another critical favorite of NBC's 2006-07 season, this one based on the heart-tugging 2004 high-school football movie of the same name. Since "heart-tugging" and "football" appeal to The Only TV Column That Matters™ about as much as "light beer" and "Brad Garrett nude," we're moving on …

Veronica Mars

Tuesday, Oct. 3 (The CW)

Season Premiere: After surviving two seasons on UPN being watched more by critics than actual people (once again, critics are not people, they're scum-and I oughta know), the 26-year-old "teen" detective lands at The CW with a Get Ratings or Die! edict. That said, the Season 3 premiere effectively pulls off the trick of offering as much for newbies to latch onto (sparkling, fluid dialogue and viral pop-cultural zings for Gilmore Girls holdovers-introducing primetime's first Battlestar Galactica references, frak you very much) as for the VR faithful to reconnect with (Kristen Bell's brainy-beauty charm and a gnarly noir subplot for dad, Enrico Colantoni). It'd be a shame if the new CW had to cancel one of the smartest shows on TV in favor of One Tree Hill reruns, just sayin.'

Eureka

Tuesday, Oct. 3 (Sci-Fi)

Season Finale: Speaking of smart, how is it that not a single episode of the Sci-Fi Channel's town-fulla-geniuses summer hit Eureka stands out in hindsight? It couldn't have been blander with a Stargate in front of the title, fergawdsakes. Excellent marketing campaign, though-and really, isn't that what counts?

Lost, The Nine

Wednesday, Oct. 4 (ABC)

Season Premiere/Series Debut: The Others still have Jack, Kate and Sawyer, and The Hatch remains un'sploded. OK, now we're all caught up with Lost so I can get to The Nine, the Most! Awesome! New! Show! of the season. Nine strangers enter a bank; a robbery turns into a 52-hour siege (none of which we see) that reaches resolution after the first commercial break, and The Nine hostages emerge shaken, stirred and barely themselves. What the hell happened in the bank during those 52 hours? That's the mystery set to unravel via flashbacks throughout the season-yes, another serialized job that'll leave everything hanging if it's canceled too soon. G'head, take a chance.

DVD

The Book of Daniel: Season 1

Remember this, the controversial NBC series about a pill-popping priest (Aiden Quinn) who chats with a wisecracking Jesus when not dealing with a boozy wife, pot-dealing daughter and gay son? Didn't think so, but it's a series worth reconsideration, if only to piss off the moral watchdogs. (NBCUniversalStore.com)

Forty Deuce: Season 1

Of all the "high-stakes" let's-build-a-biz reality shows recently, few have had a boss more full of himself than Forty Deuce's Ivan Kane-which is why the February Bravo series was so fun to watch. Well, that and his unbelievably hot and talented (and craaa-zy) burlesque dancers. (AnthemDVD.com)

The Lake House

It seemed like a better idea than Speed 3, but Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock on an explosives-rigged toboggan ("There's a bomb! On this sled!") would have been preferable to this. A time-shifting mailbox? Matching tragic haircuts? Sandra actually stiffer than Keanu? Wrong on sooo many levels. (WarnerBros.com)

The Notorious Bettie Page

Who believed Gretchen Mol could pull this one off? Her portrayal of the famed (and defamed) '50s pin-up queen is every bit as playful and magnetic as Bettie Page herself was, even if the bio-pic is longer on alluring aesthetics (including black-and-white-to-Technicolor shifts) than gritty personal details. (HBO.com)

More New DVD Releases (Sept. 26)

Brotherhood: Season 1, The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Lady Vengeance, Whose Line Is It Anyway: Season 1, Windy City Heat

BROADBAND

Family Guy: Dingo & The Baby

The Sept. 17 episode of Fox's Family Guy was an hilarious return to form, mostly due to a subplot involving erudite dog Brian landing his own radio show-which is promptly dumbed-down by Stewie. A YouTuber has collected and spliced the bits; search under "Family Guy Brain's Radio." (YouTube.com)

Bill Frost

MySpace.com/TrueTV