AltWeeklies Wire
Satanic Temple to Rally in Floridanew
Followers of Satan want to thank Gov. Rick Scott for supporting bill that would allow prayers – even Satanic ones – in schools.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes and Erin Sullivan |
01-29-2013 |
Comedy
Team-Building Bowling Leads to Plastic Heels and Smoke Machinesnew
Seemingly tame bowling shenanigans involving two hours of light ribaldry, the greased-up wings of dead chickens and innumerable buckets of beer are usually a gateway to somebody sexually falling into somebody else in the bushes outside a karaoke bar, and, with any luck, some inappropriate behavior featuring nudity and very blue language. Let the games begin.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
05-21-2009 |
Comedy
Tags: humor
Blister: The Orlando Weekly Election Results Partynew
I don't even know who I am today. There's this spiked ball of nerves wrapped in vein-red twine that seems to be teetering over the ledges of the Labyrinth board with every random unevening of the potholed foundation, sure, but where there's typically a tick -- a nervous winking thing, or at least a heartbeat -- there is nothing so measurable to depend upon today.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
11-14-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
I'm having a Mad Men moment of controlled tempers seething hazily through the keeping-up of appearances, just standing here in my Dream Kitchen with a gimlet and one momentous tear.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
11-06-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
We could have done so much better than this. All that promise of youth -- the flecked shiny bits in polyurethane roller-skate wheels beaming reflections into personal Xanadus.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-30-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor, Gibson Guitar VIP Showroom
Blister: At the Come Out With Pride Paradenew
The first year that the gay parade morphed from a trickle of 4x4s outside Club Firestone to the overpopulated- yet-declawed Lake Eola version, I was pampered in a free-drinks, air-conditioned tent with Savannah as we prepared a running dialogue of "Yayyyyyy!" and "Wowwww!" to suit our vaunted MC positions.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-23-2008 |
Comedy
Blister: This is What It's All Come Down Tonew
SThe plate tectonics of our oversized socioeconomic structure have screeched and scratched against each other one too many times, pressing hairline fractures into gaping voids and smashing the jagged slabs of our seemingly solid foundations willy-nilly across the arid landscape.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-17-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
Sometimes I wish everything could go a little more smoothly. Cracking a glance at my visage in the mirror this morning, I feel the sudden urge to cover myself in khaki and pull out a chisel while simultaneously wiping my brow and staring at the sun.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-17-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
The sky is falling, numbers are crunching, cancer is growing, mouths are lying, campaigns are tanking, banks are crumbling, stockbrokers are snorting, homes are foreclosing and I am dying.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-07-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
With all due deference, the intention of tonight's festivities is to raise some $5,000 for a team of bicyclists riding the 165-mile stretch from Miami to Key West in the name of philanthropy.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-01-2008 |
Comedy
Blister: The Sequel to Migrationnew
Crazy genius Doug Rhodehamel has spontaneously emitted another one of his turn-the-household-item-of-your-choice-into-a-creature installations, this one under the name of Migration 2.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
09-18-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
“Abandon hope all ye who enter here” is not scrawled in blood on the side of the Waverly condo at Lake Eola, but as the glass door swings open, surely the desperate handprint smudges of failed exits prior can’t be a good sign.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
09-12-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
Is this the beginning or is it the end? Splashed up like a barnacled seashell on the vacant coast of Bar-BQ-Bar’s early-Wednesday-night liquor drip, a few – very few – thoughts come to mind.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
09-05-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
It’s been three days of drippy inertia and descending barometric pressure and Roy and I, and just about anybody else presently craving Vitamin D, are all chewing away at our collective last nerve in hopes that Fay will go away.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
09-04-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
Tonight, everything is in glossy shades of black and white, with only tasteful clots of red and glassy green peppered throughout to give the social illusion of healing or growing or anything, really, that can offset this fashionable, binary severity of being.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
07-31-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor & satire
