AltWeeklies Wire

Karl Rove and the Half-Wit Princenew

Minister of Magic Karl Rove meets Harry Potter in a spoof on the two biggest events of the week.
San Antonio Current  |  Lisa Sorg  |  07-22-2005  |  Comedy

Thongs, Cat Testicles and Tattoos are Only the Beginningnew

It's amazing that people think they can get through a relationship without encountering any of the other person's crap at some level. This isn't just about tangible stuff, like Kotex and cat balls.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  07-21-2005  |  Comedy

Waving Your Rightsnew

U.S. Rep. Duncan Hunter recently brought meal plates to a televised press conference to show that Guantanamo Bay prisoners enjoy dinnertime amenities like orange-glazed and lemon chicken (each served with two types of fruit).
Orlando Weekly  |  Steve Schneider  |  07-14-2005  |  Comedy

Hating to be Herded, Even at IKEAnew

A trip to IKEA brings out this writer's true feelings toward the monster mega-store.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  07-14-2005  |  Comedy

Evil Ikeanew

Ikea is the size of an airport, and every single thing for sale in there, from dining sets to wall clocks, comes in a box unassembled, practically.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  07-07-2005  |  Comedy

A Little Bit of Grade-D Maple Syrup Goes a Long Waynew

Dieting gets extreme when a man loses 21 pounds in seven days on what he calls his "special cleanse" diet, which consists solely of cayenne pepper, lemon juice and grade-D maple syrup.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  06-30-2005  |  Comedy

For the Moviesnew

Skipping out on her wedding made Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks half a million dollars richer. A writer digs up some of his own dirt in the hope of landing a similar sweet publishing deal.
Boulder Weekly  |  Vince Darcangelo  |  06-28-2005  |  Comedy

Tom Cruise-ologynew

Was it really the best idea to call psychiatry "a fraud," given his participation in a religion whose founder believed we were all once space beings who somehow ended up on Earth as clams?
Seattle Weekly  |  Steve Wiecking  |  06-01-2005  |  Comedy

High Decibel: Adventures in Extreme Journalismnew

If you want extreme, forget action sports like skydiving or BASE jumping -- try journalism. With that in mind, Mountain Dew should shift the focus of its sponsorships from extreme athletes to extreme journalists.
Boulder Weekly  |  Vince Darcangelo  |  05-31-2005  |  Comedy

The Lies Have Itnew

How much longer can a nation so steeped in half-truths or outright whoppers maintain the illusion of health and happiness?
Seattle Weekly  |  Steve Wiecking  |  05-11-2005  |  Comedy

Unsheathed Sword of Lightningnew

America's premiere pop culturist answers questions on American Idol and the importance of poetry.
Valley Advocate  |  Dexter  |  05-02-2005  |  Comedy

Grant was Two Margaritas Shy of the Go-Go Cagenew

The giant Michael looks a little like Lucifer, which is fitting, because he is truly evil, but he owns a bar, which can be very beneficial. He got Grant drunk right before my eyes on a recent afternoon
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  04-14-2005  |  Comedy

Hail to the Chief!new

President George Bush tours the country with his visionary Social Security reform plan.
Tucson Weekly  |  Jim Nintzel  |  03-24-2005  |  Comedy

Shop Local at Bruh Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Sto'new

Has life in the Bushes gotten you down this holiday season? When trying to make a dollar outta 15 cents, are you a dime away from a hot dog or two bucks away from a bed? And is yo' telephone 'bout to disconnect while waitin' on the next paycheck?
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  12-09-2004  |  Comedy

The Souls of Po' Folknew

To help with post-election depression, Grandma Pookie is promoting her new book, "Fo' the Souls of Po' Folk: Ghetto Proverbs and Affirmations." She shares such gems as, "If you work overtime, you won’t get paid" and "Keep yo' eye on the sparrow when the going gets narrow."
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  12-02-2004  |  Comedy

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