AltWeeklies Wire

Deflowering Barbienew

The transformation from perfect to tawdry occurs with shocking speed.
Cleveland Free Times  |  Erin O'Brien  |  04-18-2007  |  Comedy

Christ Rose, Habs Won'tnew

Montreal takes hockey as seriously as Filipinos take Easter.
Montreal Mirror  |  Raf Katigbak  |  04-13-2007  |  Comedy

The 100 Unsexiest Men: 2007new

These guys couldn't turn on a radio. This year's edition of the world's top-ranked male losers starts with Tom Cruise and only gets worse from there.
Boston Phoenix  |  Phoenix Staff  |  04-12-2007  |  Comedy

The Raton That Roarednew

An interview with Mickey Mouse about Anaheim, apartments and Mexicans.
OC Weekly  |  Gustavo Arellano  |  04-03-2007  |  Comedy

Conrad Black Rules!new

In nerd speak, Black is the cold and calculating Vader to Canada's wimpy broken-voiced Luke -- and sure, Luke might take the moral high ground and triumph in the end, but fuck was he ever annoying.
Montreal Mirror  |  Raf Katigbak  |  03-23-2007  |  Comedy

Big Girl Shoesnew

The night gets deeper and hazier; ankles get wobbly; straps get loose.
Cleveland Free Times  |  Erin O'Brien  |  03-21-2007  |  Comedy

It's Official: Halliburton to Build its Own Neverland Ranch in Dubainew

Let's hope their chief executive, Dave Lesar, really does it up, Liberace-style.
Dig Boston  |  Cintra Wilson  |  03-21-2007  |  Comedy

Zork Asks ... About 'Faggots'new

We know that when Ann Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot," she didn't mean he was a "bundle of sticks" or "pieces of wrought iron" -- but what did she mean?
INDY Week  |  Bob Geary  |  03-15-2007  |  Comedy

Group Demands Gore Suicidenew

It's the "only way he can be true to his beliefs," the Tennessee Center for Policy Research says.
Nashville Scene  |  The Fabricator  |  03-15-2007  |  Comedy

Bones of Contentionnew

I don't give a fuck about The Police.
Baltimore City Paper  |  Joe MacLeod  |  03-07-2007  |  Comedy

Owner of a Restless Legnew

If it wasn't for my TV, I wouldn't know I even had the Syndrome of Leg Restlessness
Baltimore City Paper  |  Joe MacLeod  |  02-21-2007  |  Comedy

Super Bowl News Roundupnew

Rich white owners vie in Super Bowl.
Nashville Scene  |  The Fabricator  |  02-01-2007  |  Comedy

Oh, Cruel World!new

Dear woman on the packed train who so desperately needed a seat that she took it from the dude who was pressed up against the door with his seeing eye dog: I hope someone throws a flaming bag of shit at you.
Dig Boston  |  Anonymous  |  01-17-2007  |  Comedy

Starlet Fevernew

Why are Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne and Jessica and Ashlee Simpson different people?
Philadelphia Weekly  |  Steven Wells  |  01-16-2007  |  Comedy

Good Ole Boy Obamanew

Employee No. 1: "Looks like Obama's been goin' to the tannin' salon a little too much. He should be careful, or he'll lose some votes."
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  12-21-2006  |  Comedy

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