AltWeeklies Wire

The Best Valentine Evernew

Sister Mary Serene was magic, and she died too soon at 101.
Illinois Times  |  Doug Bybee Sr.  |  02-10-2006  |  Comedy

You Have to Be Toughnew

It's hilarious the way guys pretend not to want kids at all, while maintaining they're inherently incapable of fidelity because they are genetically predisposed to fuck around in order to propagate the species.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  02-09-2006  |  Comedy

Good Poet! Bad Poet!new

Made irrelevant by the Net, Tullius finds refuge as a poet.
Illinois Times  |  Doug Bybee Sr.  |  02-03-2006  |  Comedy

Teenage Prostitute to the Starsnew

Now that James Frey got his ass ripped in half for fabricating most of his memoir, I feel it's important that I, as a writer who makes her living through the telling of her own experiences, finally come clean about a few things.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  02-02-2006  |  Comedy

XLnew

The roman numeral should bring people of all races, creeds and colors together in a celebration of eating, gambling, and beer -- and football.
Baltimore City Paper  |  Joe MacLeod  |  02-01-2006  |  Comedy

Sell Out Centernew

The inventory of the Sell Out Center seems to consist of anything that could be moved or pried loose any place that up and shut down suddenly under a shower of unrest, financial or otherwise.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  01-26-2006  |  Comedy

The Nun Bun Talksnew

The Nashville confection with a likeness to Mother Teresa was stolen on Christmas, and now the Nun Bun speaks out.
Nashville Scene  |  Tim Kurtzweil  |  01-25-2006  |  Comedy

Eddie Can Fix Anythingnew

All my local friends are far too fed up with me, or just too generally useless, to help me renovate a whole house, but from the start Eddie was unfazed.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  01-19-2006  |  Comedy

My Two Centsnew

The 39-cent stamp is the best deal in town.
Baltimore City Paper  |  Joe MacLeod  |  01-18-2006  |  Comedy

My Burning Bednew

The fire started with a cigarette -- but whose?
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  01-12-2006  |  Comedy

iCalendar Changed My Lifenew

Of all the features on the new silver PowerBook G4 laptop, iCalendar is worth the $2,000.
Dig Boston  |  Seth Reiss  |  01-06-2006  |  Comedy

A Smoky End to the Airlines Gignew

Working for the airlines was a great job while it lasted, but it has taken a total toilet spin.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  01-05-2006  |  Comedy

Ten-atively for My Conveniencenew

What's on your Top 10 list?
Baltimore City Paper  |  Joe MacLeod  |  12-21-2005  |  Comedy

The Kidnappers Had Their Trunk Opennew

It's not as if the columnist has ever been in tons of danger, unless you want to count the times (there have been a couple) that people tried to kidnap her.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Hollis Gillespie  |  12-15-2005  |  Comedy

The Passon of the Bononew

U2's frontman challenges Jesus for the title "King of Kings."
Cleveland Scene  |  Michael Alan Goldberg  |  12-14-2005  |  Comedy

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