Haiku News: Year in Review
Politics:
Bush new world order
succeeds in electing a
Socialist in Spain
new study shows that
the earthquake in Athens was
fueled by steroids
ghost detainees at
Abu Ghraib are coming back
to haunt CIA
Democrats cheer when
Kerry discovers that
Ohio exists
Scalia defends
trip with Cheney; hey, they were
just ducking around
Chicago mayor
says he’d be fine if gays wed
in Winky City
report suggests that
GOP has better spies
than the CIA
White House says Dick Clarke
is using American
grandstand to sell book
Howard Dean quits so
he can run for president
of the Internet
Feds OK funds for
I-69 but some think
we’re royally screwed
some think the War on
Terror should be focused on
the War on Error
as fuel prices
rise the "S" in SUV
must stand for stupid
Boston closes more
churches to keep Kerry from
taking Communion
destruction of Bush
military records sure
sounds microfiche-y
there are concerns that
Kerry changes his mind and
Bush doesn’t have one
terror alert raised
to counter fears that Bush poll
numbers are falling
prisoner abuse
panel determines Rumsfeld
asleep at the rack
Bush’s ‘ownership
society’ will work great
for those who own stuff
Log Cabin Repubs
get out before Arnold can
call them girly-men
billionaire Soros
begins big buck battle to
be the biggest George
Bush election ad
featured CGI GIs
a band of faux bros
80,000 miles
in his enormous RV
my man gas guzzler
Reverend Falwell
forms a coalition of
men with double chins
Science:
to spur both science
and stability Bush wants
Earth to marry Mars
obesity now
battling cigarettes for
preferred way to die
EPA study
suggests that fish could be used
as thermometers
Bush acknowledges
global warming exists; now
hell can freeze over
Japan nuclear
plant explosion is termed an
act of Godzilla
data reveals that
blood pressure is going up —
and now so is mine
if you want a less
destructive hurricane then
don’t name it Ivan
Business:
Halliburton is
accused of exploiting the
Cheney of command
poor job growth stats will
improve when Bush has to hire
many spin-doctors
SEC to find
out why there are so many
holes in Krispy Kreme
study says blacks charged
more for Honda loans which is
not very civic
Boeing going mad
knowing Pentagon went with
Lockheed out of greed
Entertainment:
Garfunkel caught with
marijuana; where there’s smoke
there’s troubled water
Gibson agrees to
change title of his film to
"The Pulp of the Christ"
former CEO
of Enron, Lay, might make a
good one in prison
readership declines
for newspapers but I
guess you’re not reading this
Disney delivers
mighty marketing boost to
Michael Moore’s new film
Stern removed by Clear
Channel in clash ’tween bottoms
and the bottom line
there’s concern that one
of the Olsen twins isn’t
getting enough milk
Martha wants to be
imprisoned now to get time
on dearth row over
Madonna’s visit
to Israel has chewed up
this entire haiku
O’Reilly suit may
put his career into
Limbaugh, er, limbo
this is the only
Scott Peterson haiku that
you will see from me
Memorials:
actor and writer
Spalding Gray found dead swimming
to Cambodia
scientist Francis
Crick dead at the age of two
double helixes
death and dying guide
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
reaches the sixth stage
French philosopher
Jacque Derrida exacts the
last deconstruction
Rodney Dangerfield
finally passes into
the Realm of Respect
"S" stands for stem cell
Christopher Reeve leaves us the
remains of his way